The Fear is Real.

The fear to love.

The fear to live.

The fear to trust.

The fear of giving in.

The fear of losing out.

The fear of being left out.

The fear of having too much.

The fear of having nothing at all.

The fear of relapse.

The fear of emptiness.

The fear of the dark.

The fear of the light.

The fear of the unknown.

The fear of knowing too much.

The fear of being crazy.

The fear of not having lived enough.

The fear of prejudice.

The fear of an absence of reason.

The fear OF reason.

The fear of people.

The fear of loneliness.

The fear of dying.

The fear of pain.

The fear of uncertainty.

The fear of belonging.

The fear of never belonging.

 

The fear of living.

The fear of life.

The fear of dying.

The fear of death.

The fear of emptiness.

 

The fear of loving,

and The fear of not.

 

 

The absence of fear.

 

 

The fear of nothing at all.

 

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Of human relationships and bonding…

Remember when you met me for the first time?

 

You said something so trivial, so silly… And thinking about it now, it seems so meaningless, the conversation we had. Our first conversation.

 

My responses were silly too, blunt even.

 

I didn’t know you. You didn’t know me.

 

Yet we both were hoping for the start of something more meaningful…

 

You asked me what I did, where I lived, what made me smile… And I proceeded to ask you the same.

What did it matter right? What either of us did, where we lived, or what made us smile.. But we talked about it anyway.

We laughed at the silliest things. We tried to sound smarter than we were letting know. We were nervous, unsure, sceptical, a tad bit scared even.

But we still talked.

And the thing that hits me the most… about that conversation we had…

 

That was the best part of our relationship.

 

The two of us, strangers, exploring each other, looking for that something that would make us feel like we belonged to each other…

 

Do you remember that?

 

Do you remember how brief that first meeting was?

Funny isn’t it? We kept it brief, as if to show we didn’t really think about each other that much. As if to show the meeting was in fact… just another meeting.

But it wasn’t, was it?

 

I don’t believe there’s such a thing as “just another meeting”.

 

Do you remember going back home and thinking about me, as I did about you?

Wishing you had perhaps found a chance in our brief silly conversation, to take my number. Laying in bed later that night, didn’t you wish you could just talk to me some more?

Do you remember that?

 

Do I remind you now, of the time we finally did exchange numbers?

 

Of how excited we were, but didn’t want to show it to the other, and so we stalled.. Held back from sending messages.. from calling.

While all you wanted to do was start another conversation…

 

It makes me smile now.. the time we finally did send messages to each other… We talked about ourselves more… Explored each other more…

Do you remember that intimacy we shared?

Do you remember telling me about yourself, while I told you about me…?

 

The questions we asked… The way we tried to understand each other… all the while, looking for those quirks that we shared that would make us bond more intimately.

 

You remember don’t you…

 

I do. All the time.

And to me, this was the best part of our relationship.

 

This is the best part of any relationship.

 

When you don’t know, but are willing to learn about each other…

When you don’t expect a thing, and so every little thing I say warms your heart in the slightest…

When I can look forward to something new, which is you.

 

 

Do you remember this? Stranger…

 

 

Does it feel like we’ve met before?

Life is a compromise.

Have you ever wondered about the number of compromises you make every single day of your life? Be it the trivial little things like putting up with the baby in the neighbourhood who’s always crying, or more substantial things like knowing your local political goon gets away with a lot of stuff that “ordinary” citizens like you and I could never get away with, and keeping quiet about it.

Have you even actually paid attention every time you make a compromise? Or is it so routine that you don’t even notice whether or not you’re getting all you want out of life?

 

I wonder about compromises a lot. All the time in fact. It bothers me; and the phrase “Life is a compromise”, accepted by all as an axiom of life, troubles me the most. It doesn’t seem right. Should life really be a compromise?

 

calvinhobbs

 

Consider all the times you compromise. You compromise for family, for friends, for lovers, for colleagues, for bosses, for rulers, for teachers, for those with political power, for those with obscene monetary power, for those who can push you around, and sometimes for those so weak that empathy comes their way rather easily.

You compromise at home, in the neighbourhood, at work, over the internet, while you watch TV, in traffic, at the movies, in different social setups, in classrooms, in boardrooms, even while in the shower!

 

You compromise to avoid conflict and keep peace.

You compromise in order to stay out of trouble, because it would be less cumbersome to actually raise an issue and then deal with the follow-through of your actions.

You compromise because you are tired of trying to talk sense with people who simply don’t get it.

You compromise because you think, “let me me the better person here”.

You compromise because it’s the socially accepted thing to do. And God knows, you don’t want to be the rebel.

 

You compromise all the time because that’s what you’ve been taught to do.

 

WE compromise all the time, because that’s how we’ve all been brought up.

 

-That in order to live life, you must compromise.

-That for the sake of not just your safety, but for the safety of everybody you care about, your best approach to life is Compromise.

-And that if you don’t compromise, you’re being abnormal, difficult, selfish, eccentric, unnatural, and are out of line.

 

But then, what if you really don’t want to compromise?

What if you’re tired of doing it all the time, in every single situation you’re in?

 

Is it wrong to want this?

Does it make me abnormal, eccentric, selfish, and out of line to want this?

 

And more important, is it possible at all, that anyone wanting to just experience a blissful life of minimal compromise, will get their way?

 

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